Games
by slightlysickpsycho
Summary: During her first year at Hogwarts, Ginny talks Hermione into playing a late night game with some older girls. The game leaves her with a lot of questions about herself. Slightly AU- lack of emphasis on some major events. Will span over several years.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!

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"Are you telling me you're not even a little bit curious?"

"Well, maybe a little." Hermione looked down and bit her pink lower lip, thinking. She had insisted to me that she had no desire to accept an invitation to join in a game the older girls played late at night. She had stated that truth or dare was nothing but idiots sitting around and giggling at their own stupidity.

"Why would they even be interested in having me play?"

"Well…" I felt my cheeks going hot, and wondered if she could see my blush in the firelight "you know, because there's a rumor that you and Harry…"

"What?" Hermione spat.

"You spend so much time together."

"I spend a lot of time with Ron, too"

"Everyone can tell you're not close with Ron like you are with Harry. I mean, I love my brother, but you have to admit he's often rather oblivious." There was a long pause while I thought about the impact of my words. Suddenly I wanted the rumors to be lies. I felt a weird twist in my stomach at the thought of them together. Finally, I couldn't help but ask, "So, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"You and Harry. Are you… together?" My voice came out a hoarse whisper.

The abruptness of her laugh startled me. "Ginny, it's not like that with Harry." Her focus on me was intent now. "Why? Were you jealous?"

"No!" I hissed, wondering why I was. I considered them both friends, why shouldn't they be together?

She smiled at me knowingly. "Maybe you don't want to play, Ginny." She said, her voice serious.

"Why wouldn't I want to play?" I felt a rush of excitement and morbid fascination.

"Because," velvet brown eyes flecked with pale green shone, spellbinding. "They'll ask you questions, and make you answer. They'll want to know who you like. By the end of the night, you'll end up telling them."

The slight fear tickling my veins seemed out of place in the body of a girl with no secrets.

I climbed into bed that night with my mind buzzing. I pulled the curtains around me and stared up into the darkness, waiting for midnight. When we had only a quarter of an hour left before the game would begin in an empty classroom, I crept out of bed. My toes found and burrowed into their worn fuzzy slippers in the darkness, protection against the icy stone steps. I was relieved to find Hermione waiting for me where the staircases to the girls' dormitories met. She silently took my hand and led me through the dark corridors.

Occasionally, moonlight spilling through a large window would illuminate her silhouette for a moment, and the thin fabric of her white nightgown revealed the feminine softness of her body, the slight curve to her lower back. I felt awkward in Ron's old pajamas. Even though I was taller than a lot of the girls my age, I looked younger than they did. Their faces had changed in recent months, cheekbones beginning to emerge, but mine was still soft and undefined. While their bodies had started to grow rounder and more feminine, I had grown taller and more slender. I wondered if they would make fun of my slow development.

When we reached the classroom, the older girls were already there waiting. Hermione stood in front of me in the doorway, and in that moment I was very thankful for two things: the reassuring warmth of her hand, and the way her body partially obscured mine from all of those eyes.

Even if I had somehow managed to remain unaware of Jen's reputation, one look at the way every girl in the room oriented herself toward the Slytherin would have revealed to me that she was the one behind these late night gatherings.

Jen's name was one of the first I learned at Hogwarts. She was the object of an intense but unacknowledged obsession shared among most of the female students. We were enthralled by the mischievous gleam in those wide blue eyes, eyes the shocking pale color of a cloud dusted December sky. Though the air around her always buzzed with a strange tension that exuded unadulterated power, her tiny frame and soft curves seemed to awaken protective instincts in everyone she encountered. There were a few vague and wild rumors about the danger of her wrath, but no one I talked to seemed to have ever heard her so much as raise her clear and quiet voice.

Had she closed her eyes gently, she would have almost looked like a little girl, with her Onyx hair cascading like liquid silk, partially obscuring the ivory skin of her face. Her nightgown was a faded pink and not particularly revealing, but something about the way the gauzy lace touched her collarbone made the pit of my stomach drop. Naturally, she was the first to speak.

"Come on in, Hermione. I thought you might bring your little friend with you tonight." Jen's features were small and delicate. Her smile barely showed in the thin pink lips that turned up reluctantly at the corners, but the dimples appearing in the soft flesh of her cheeks flooded my core with warmth.

"Well," Jen said, "I think that's everyone. Shall we get started?" She walked over to the door, locking it and performing a series of spells that would hopefully keep our game from being interrupted or discovered. We joined the other girls, who were forming a circle, cross legged on the floor.

Jen pulled a backpack out from under one of the desks before coming to sit with the rest of us. No one said a word as she pulled out a brown glass bottle and drank from it deeply. She passed it to the girl beside her, who did the same. Hermione and I exchanged a nervous glance as the bottle travelled from girl to girl, until the bottle finally found itself in Hermione's hands. I could see the determination set in her face as she swallowed the first sip, and the clear relief as she took another. She smiled encouragingly and handed it to me.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

I didn't want to hesitate, to show weakness in front of the beautiful and confident girls surrounding me, so I only caught a tiny whiff of the liquid's scent before filling my mouth with it.

It was strangely pleasant. It was cool and sweet, tasting of ripe peaches. A moment after I swallowed it I felt a strange warmth in my stomach. I took a second drink, this one considerably larger than the first, before passing it to the next girl.

"Nice, Weasley." Jen said approvingly. I blushed a little.

"You know my name?"

"Not like I couldn't guess if I didn't. You look just like your brothers." Frowning slightly, I looked down at my lean body and flat chest. Jen giggled.

"Don't feel bad. You're still pretty young, and some girls just look a little boyish." I felt worse. Jen paused before she continued. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "you do have a pretty face. I bet you'd make a really cute boy." A couple of the other girls giggled and I couldn't help but notice that they were looking at me. It definitely made me feel weird when they did that. Even at that age, I was rarely speechless, but words were definitely failing me now. Hermione sent her another wicked glare. Jen straightened, smoothing her nightgown with her palms, and the room fell silent. We watched her expectantly.

"Hermione and her friend Ginny have been nice enough to join us this evening, so I'll take a moment to go over the rules. First, nothing that happens here leaves the room. Second, if you fail to perform a dare or give a satisfying answer to a question, there will be punishment." Her voice caressed that word and a little pixie-like grin flitted across her face for an instant. Those blue eyes sparkled deviously. I would have been afraid if I hadn't been so intrigued. She pulled a bottle of firewhiskey out of her bag and placed it on its side in the middle of the circle. I was immensely relieved that this bottle would not be passed around.

"Now," she continued, "I'll spin first, and the girl it lands on will either answer a question for me or accept a dare. We can start slow tonight so we don't scare the little girls." She wasn't smiling, but I could tell from the appearance of her dimples that she was working hard not to, and did my best to ignore the pointed stare in my direction. "If anyone finds a particular dare or question weak, you may propose a better one. If you want to do that, you have to take a shot of firewhiskey first. If it's decided that your suggestion is not a good one, you'll have to be punished." The look on her face and the sound of her voice when that topic came up left me a little foggy on whether punishment was necessarily a bad thing.

I knew that a seat in this circle was a highly coveted thing. Soon I would know why.

The girl beside her lit a small fire in an intricately decorated pewter bowl and sprinkled some unfamiliar herbs over it. The pale blue smoke that spiraled out of the bowl shimmered, almost sparkled, as the heavy scent reached my nostrils. As I inhaled I felt lighter, like a laugh was building in the pit of my stomach.

I watched the bottle spin, fascinated, lulled into an almost trancelike state until the neck stopped, pointed at Hermione. Jen's eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Before we can really get started, there's something obvious we'll need to get out of the way. What's going on with you and Harry? Have you seen him naked?"

"What? No!" Hermione looked scandalized. "Why would I?"

Oh, those pixie eyes. "Why wouldn't you, my dear? I think what everyone's been wondering is if the two of you are an item or what?" I couldn't help but steal a glance down Jen's nightgown as she leaned forward and the lacy collar fell a few inches, revealing the wonderful roundness of her breasts. I wished my body could look like that. Even to touch…

"Like what you see, Weasley?" I was blushing so hard my face probably almost matched my hair.

"I… Um, where did you get your nightgown? It's just so pretty." She smirked at me.

"Wanna try it on?"

"What?"

"We're all girls here. It's not like it'd be anything anyone hasn't seen before."

"No! Um, no thank you." I stared down at the floor.

"So Hermione," Jen said, returning to the conversation's original topic, "tell us everything about you and Harry."

"We're friends."

"And?"

"And nothing. There isn't anything to tell. It's just not like that."

"Is it Weasley then?"

"I'm only a second year! I've never even kissed a boy." Hermione sounded slightly regretful as she said this.

"Oh, alright then." Jen flashed a tiny pout, though I suspected she had known the answer to her question all along. "So," she straightened and looked Hermione dead in the eye, "Truth or dare?"

"What?" Hermione looked irritated. "I thought I just went."

"Nope," Jen grinned, "I was just asking you a question. You get to pick whether you do truth or dare."

"Fine. Truth."

"Think you might be taking the easy way out, huh?"

"I've already answered your questions anyway! If I have to take two turns I might as well make it easy on myself."

"Alright. Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Have I ever WHAT?"

"You know, for practice. It doesn't count or anything, but then you can know what you're doing when you do it for real for the first time."

"No! Of course not! Jen, that's really weird."

"Only if you want to be a bad kisser. Seriously, you should try it sometime."

"Doesn't it feel gross?"

"Actually it's kind of fun." Jen winked. "Let me know if you ever need some pointers. Go ahead, it's your spin." I admired the elegant curve of Hermione's spine as she leaned forward to spin, the thin material of her nightgown clinging fascinatingly to her torso. I couldn't help but notice that her waist was becoming more slender and her chest had started to grow. The bottle spun for a small eternity before coming to a halt with its neck pointing directly at me.

"Truth or dare, Ginny?"

"I don't know. You pick."

"Alright. Have you ever kissed a boy? What about a girl?"

"That's two questions."

"Have you ever kissed a boy?"

"Sort of. But I don't think it really counted."

"Details and we'll tell you." Jen's eyes, always sparkling.

"As a kid, Ron was friends with this boy that lived a couple miles away from us and they would play in the woods by the house. One day they were having a picnic and I whined until my mom made them take me with them. I was nine and they were eleven. We were playing hide and seek and he found me first, but he said he would let me keep hiding and go find Ron instead if I let him kiss me. I didn't want to lose, so I said ok. He put his tongue in my mouth. I thought it would feel good, but it just felt warm and thick and slimy. I hope it doesn't always feel like that." I was shocked by how easily the words just tumbled out, and at this point I understood why the incense was so unfamiliar to me. It was decidedly intoxicating.

"So," I asked, "does that count?"

Jen made a playfully contemplative face before saying "only if you want it to."

"Then I've never been kissed." I said quickly.

"Your spin, Ginny." Blue eyes hypnotized me as I reached for the bottle, my quick twisting motion causing it to wobble slightly as it spun.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

After a small eternity, the bottle slowed to a stop, pointing to a third year Ravenclaw whose name I didn't know. Her long hair was pulled back in two loose silvery blond braids though several seemingly weightless wisps had escaped to brush against warm bronze shoulders dusted with tiny freckles. I couldn't help but notice that she was very, very pretty. Actually, as I looked around, I realized that most of the girls seated in the circle were unusually attractive. I felt slightly unnerved by my unspoken observation.

"Truth or dare?" I was impressed by the smooth casual voice I had managed to muster when I had been so afraid my words would come out quivering and mumbled.

"Dare." The corner of her mouth jerked up in a slightly uneven grin. She looked almost as nervous as I felt. I had fervently hoped I would only have to ask her a question. No dares had been made yet, and I wasn't sure what would be acceptable. I didn't want to embarrass myself by going too far, but I also was terrified that the dare I came up with would be too childish. The glittering blue mist drifting from the dark and intricate bowl distorted the room around me ever so slightly. I was startled out of my reverie as Jen pushed a small goblet into my hands.

"What is it?" I asked, a little stunned.

"Just something to help you relax. Don't be so uptight, Weasley."

"Stop calling me that."  
"Calling you what?"

"Weasley. I have a first name you know."

"Right. Fine. _Ginny_," the emphasis on my name carried a touch of sarcasm. "How about you just drink that and pull the stick out of your ass." sighing, I took a tentative sip of the fizzy concoction. I thought I tasted alcohol, but it was hard to be sure what any of the flavors were. All I could really taste was heavy sweetness buried in fruity chaos. Actually, it didn't taste half bad. I took a much larger drink and felt a wonderful lightness flowing through my limbs. The blond girl watched me silently, hugging her legs to her chest and resting her head on one knee.

"Um, drink some firewhiskey?" The dare came out sounding more like a question. I wished I could have come up with something better. "Do a shot. But you have to hold it in your mouth for ten seconds before you swallow." She wrinkled her nose a little, but smiled and reached for the bottle in the center of the circle. Jen yawned and shook her head at me, her obvious amusement softening the air of disappointment she had put on like a mask. Still, she didn't question my dare, and the game continued.

At first, few of us chose to accept dares. It was clear to me that most of these girls had been coming here for a long time, as the questions they asked each other were mostly about what had or hadn't happened over the summer. I was shocked to learn that few of them were still virgin. It was even more amazing to hear about the wide variety of spells and potions they employed, not only to avoid any unwanted consequences of late night fumblings in empty classrooms, but also to make their experiences more intense and enjoyable. I wanted to ask what kind of incense they were burning. I loved the way it made my body tingle, and how the feeling combined with the sensations brought about by the sweet fizzy drink I had already finished.

Maybe I was more intoxicated than I had realized. When the bottle came to a stop pointed at me for the second time that night, I felt bold enough to ask for a dare. The girl whose mercy I now found myself at looked older, at least fifth or sixth year. Her face was unfamiliar and I didn't know which house she was in.

"Since you say kissing your brother's friend didn't count, I think maybe it's time you had your first kiss. Don't you?" My stomach flipped and my palms started to sweat. I wondered whether she would be the one who kissed me. Her dark rust tinted hair was cropped short and dangled around her face in messy curls. Her alabaster skin gleamed beside black flannel pajamas, and I marveled at her almost turquoise eyes. I wondered, though the last thing I wanted was to wonder, how her strong athletic body would feel pressed against mine. It must be the incense, I thought, that was making me feel this way.

"Aww, she's blushing!" the girl beside her giggled, looking at me. I touched a hand to a burning cheek, realizing she was right. All eyes in the room were fixed on my flushed face, and I could feel myself growing redder still.

"Maybe I should let you be the one to choose. Who would you like to kiss?"

"I don't know!"

"How about Hermione?"

"What?"

"What's wrong? Don't you think your little friend is pretty enough to kiss?"

"No! That's not it. I mean, it's not even her turn right now or anything. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"It's alright, Ginny." Hermione's warm hand rested reassuringly on my arm.

"See, she said it's ok. What are you waiting for?" I looked at Hermione, realizing how much easier it would be to kiss someone I knew and trusted.

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

"Don't worry about it. It's just practice anyway." The strange slow lilting voice she spoke with reminded me that I wasn't the only person breathing the incense that hung in the air around us. I wondered if it made her body tingle like mine. She smiled at me and put a hand on my cheek, gentle coaxing me closer. I closed my eyes and let my lips part slightly as they pressed against hers. The softness of her mouth was incredible, and when I inhaled I could taste peaches and alcohol. My head swam and I didn't think it was from the alcohol. As she slowly pulled away, I almost forgot to close my lips and open my eyes.

_Why did that feel so good? _ I couldn't help but wonder. It didn't seem right to me for one little kiss to do so many strange things to my body. _Must be the incense. _With that simple explanation, I pushed the worries out of my head.

Hermione's cheeks were flooded with the most inviting shade of pink I had ever seen.

"That wasn't a real kiss." Jen's voice was conversational, but her eyes were full of predatory delight. "Come here, Ginny." Her second sentence was so soft and low it was almost a purr.

I knew I shouldn't, but I did.

I knew what she was going to do before I crawled across the floor in the middle of the circle. Still, she was much more aggressive than I had expected. All at once, her fingers were in my hair and her lips were on my lips, forcing my mouth open as the small firm tongue pressed inside, touching and claiming everything it touched. Blown away by the suddenness of what was happening, I couldn't stop my body from reacting. I pressed closer to her and let my tongue slide over hers before dancing across her lower lip. Horrified, I pulled away.

"Kiss her like that." Jen's composure was still perfect as she casually brushed the back of her hand over her glistening lips, wiping away the evidence of the intimate moment she had just taken from me with such indifference. I glanced back at Hermione quickly enough to see the look of shocked horror on her face before she forced it away.

"No." My voice was firm and I looked Jen in the eye when I spoke.

"You sure about that, Weasley?"

"It's Ginny, and yes, I'm sure."

"Fine." And her lips crept up into a wicked grin with the words that followed: "Then I guess we'll just have to punish you."

A/N: I'd really love some feedback, so if you liked this, hated it, or have anything to say, please leave me a review!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

My mouth fell open as Jen rose to stand above me. I had little time to ponder the strange feeling stirring between my legs before Hermione's hand was gripping mine and she was pulling me to my feet.

"Come on Ginny, let's go."

"What?" Jen spat, looking dumbfounded.

"You heard me." There was no fear in Hermione's voice as she stared down the goddess of Hogwarts. "Really, it's been lovely, but I think we've had enough."

"You can't just walk out on a dare." Jen took a step toward Hermione, blue eyes turned to ice.

"Watch us." And she led me out of the room, though my eyes were still on Jen. I couldn't look away from the intense beauty of her anger.

"Don't think I'll let you come back!" Jen called out as the door swung shut behind us.

She pulled me quickly through the twisting corridors, silent in her rage. She didn't speak until we were back in the deserted common room.

"Are you ok, Ginny?" She asked gently, sitting me down on an overstuffed sofa.

"A bit confused, I suppose, but otherwise fine." Of course, confused was an understatement. It had been strange for Jen to kiss me that way, but what bothered me most was how strangely wonderful it had felt.

"I'm so sorry I let it get so far. The incense they were burning made me feel so… unusual and sluggish."

"I guess it does different things to everyone." I mused.

"What does it do to you?" Her gaze was suddenly intense.

"It, well, it um…" I squirmed uncomfortably, searching for the right words, words that wouldn't make me sound insane. "It's like this weird tingling in the pit of my stomach. But I feel it all over my body. Weird, but it feels kind of good."

"Me too." Hermione whispered, leaning in close before she continued, "but my stomach wasn't where I felt it." She blushed a deep scarlet and a long silence passed between us.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering… do you think… which kiss counted?"

She rolled her eyes at my question, but the warmth of her smile made me feel safe enough that I didn't regret asking. "Does it matter?"

"Well, if the kiss in the woods didn't count, was tonight my first kiss?"

"Ginny, let me ask you something. How old were you the first time you rode a broom?"

"I don't know. Probably six or seven on this ancient Cleansweep that used to belong to Charlie. It was almost slower than walking. What does that have to do with anything?"

"How did it feel?"

"It was fun, but nothing like riding a real broom, with the wind whipping through my hair and the ground swimming far beneath me." I sighed happily at the memory.

"And it feels incredible every time, right?"

"Yeah."

"So does the first time really matter?"

"I guess not, but my first kiss…"

"It matters who you kiss, and what it feels like when you kiss them. The order in which it happens is completely meaningless as long as you're kissing the right person in the end."

I smiled. "Thanks. You know, you're smarter in a lot more ways than the boys give you credit for."

She beamed back at me. "My head's starting to feel a little clearer. Maybe we should get some sleep."

"I think you're right." we climbed the stairs together, and before we went to our separate rooms, she threw her arms around me. Holding my head close to her and stroking my hair, she mumbled quietly in my ear,

"Ginny, I know we haven't really been friends for that long, but it feels like forever. I've never had a sister, but I love you like the same blood flows through our veins. You can always come to me if there's anything you need, and I'll never let Jen hurt you like that again."

I pulled away, slightly confused. "Thanks. 'Night Hermione."

"'Night, Ginny."

My dreams that night were muddled and confusing. Jen appeared again and again, pale sapphire eyes glowing in the face of a little girl.

_Her undulating body became more and more snakelike as her limbs wound around me. At first the touch felt wonderful, but then her grip started to tighten. I wanted her to hold me close, but her embrace was becoming painful. I tried to cry out, but the air had been forced from my lungs. The harder I fought to escape her, the harder she held me. Finally my tingling body went limp, and the world swam around me. There was no point in struggling now. I was completely lost in her iron grasp._

"_Stop!" Hermione cried out. In the midst of the struggle, I hadn't noticed her approach. I saw the silver glint of a dagger as she raised her trembling hand. "Leave her alone." Her voice was strong even though I could hear the fear behind it. I was sure Jen could hear it too. _

"_She'sss miiine." Jen's low hiss in my ear sent a shudder through my body, ecstasy tainting the terror that pulsed through me. Her grip tightened and my breathing grew shallower still. I closed my eyes, letting my head rest against her shoulder. I heard a sickening rip, and a moan of pain in my ear. Her hold loosened._

_As something warm trickled down her shoulder and slid over my cheek, I opened my eyes and saw the sparkling red of fresh blood. Horrified, I stepped back and her body fell to the ground with a soft thud. The blood soaked dagger clattered to the floor and I could hear the sharp ragged breaths as Hermione started to sob._

_I rushed toward her, feeling the heat that still rose from Jen's corpse as I stepped over it. I reached out to take her in my arms, but was stopped by a tiny hand gripping my ankle. I looked down, horrified. Three sets of pale blue eyes looked back at me from the heads that had replaced what Hermione destroyed._

"_Ginny, the knife!" Hermione cried, and I could see the blade glistening inches from my feet. I picked it up, and three faces stared up at me, childlike and helpless. I couldn't do it._

_The dagger hit the floor for a second time, and Jen was pulling me closer. Needle sharp fangs tore at my flesh, and Hermione watched helplessly as the demonic goddess ate me alive. _


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

After the incident with Jen, I started sitting with Hermione at meals. Unfortunately, before long I had started to pull away from her, instead spending hours on end curled up in deserted corridors, writing furiously in that terrible diary, letting the memory of the man I loathe more than anyone or anything eat me away bit by bit. I don't remember much about what happened with Jen and her friends in that time, but I get the distinct impression that Hermione was protecting me from them considerably more than she let on.

At first, she cornered me often, confronting me about my dwindling health and self-imposed social isolation. I had to fight to get her to leave me alone, but in time she gave up, and once she had been petrified, I slipped under the radar completely.

Second year came and went with tentative attempts at healing the friendship between us, but our conversations were often strained and superficial. It was the summer before third year that the bond we felt that night gasped back into awareness in the warm night air. Hermione was staying at the Burrow for a few weeks so she could attend the Quidditch World Cup with my family, and since I'm the only girl, it was natural that she shared my room during that time. I hadn't given it much thought until the day she arrived, the hem of her pale blue sundress floating playfully around her knees. In the month or so since I had seen her last, she had changed. She carried herself with a confidence now that made my knees weak for reasons I couldn't understand.

The sun had made her normally milk white skin glow a soft gold, and left amber highlights in her chestnut hair. I wasn't the only one to notice how incredible she looked. Lingering outside of Fred and George's room that night on my way back from the bathroom, I could hear the vulgar approving comments they muttered to each other. I wanted to burst in and scream at them for talking about her like that, like she was the same as every other pretty girl they had taken a liking to and often eventually seduced. I couldn't stand the thought of either of them courting her, the gentle teasing that would escalate into the kind of attention that had swept so many girls before her off their feet. I turned to walk away, but before I was out of earshot, a single word stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Dibs!"

I glared at the door, incredulous.

"No fair, Fred! You got the last one!"

It was all I could take. I crashed through the door, tackling the first twin I saw, the wand I had snatched from his robe pocket pointed at his neck.

"What's your bloody problem, Ginny?"

"Hermione is not piece of meat, Fred."

"I'm George!" He insisted, glancing at our brother, who watched us grinning.

"I don't care who you are. If either of you so much as looks at her the wrong way, I'll hex you into next week."

The free twin hovered over my shoulder. "Does someone have a little schoolgirl crush?" he cackled.

"Shut up, Fred, George, whoever you are! It's not like that, I just don't like you talking about my friend that way."

"Since when are you two so close?" The voice in my ear was light, trembled with amusement.

"It's not like that!"

"Ooh, little Ginny has a secret!"

"Don't worry, we won't tell your little girlfriend about the plans you have for her." The twin beneath me was laughing, but I could see the slight edge of fear in his eyes. He knew how much damage I could do before our darling brother had the chance to stop me.

"Your secret's safe with us."

"Bloody idiots!" My face was burning. I stood and fled the room, tossing the pilfered wand aside, hoping I had managed to hide in the darkness of the hallway before the first tears spilled over.

"Ginny?" Hermione sounded uncertain. "Are you alright? You've been gone a while."

"I'm fine."

"What happened?" She could hear the pain in my voice. Standing close to her, I started to realize why I was crying. Normally my brothers' taunts were easy to shake off, but now, as Hermione wrapped her arms around me and her breasts pressed against my body, I knew Fred and George had been right.

I barely slept the first night she was there. We shared my bed so no one would have to sleep on the floor, and I stared into the darkness, listening to the sound of her breath. The night was so quiet I could almost hear her heart beating beside me. I wanted to rest my hand on her chest, to feel that gentle flutter just to know she was real, that the night hadn't been a dream, but I didn't dare move for fear of waking her.

I must have looked tired at breakfast, because the twins kept shooting me worried looks. I thanked every god I could think of for their silence on the previous night's conversation. I thought the topic was gone forever until Fred cornered me in the kitchen after lunch.

"Listen, Ginny, I've been thinking."

"That's a shock." I rolled my eyes and turned away, not letting the panic rising in my chest bleed into my voice.

"Well, I talked to George about last night, and we're not intolerant assholes or anything, so, you know, we thought… well, you get dibs." He said the last part in a benevolent voice, as though he had just offered me some epic gift.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I prayed Hermione wouldn't hear.

"On Hermione." He gave me his best charming smile, and I punched his shoulder.

"I'm not like that!" I hissed, turning to leave.

"Well, if you change your mind, you still have dibs, just to let you know…"  
"Sure, Fred, whatever." I left him standing alone in the kitchen, looking puzzled and a little bit helpless.

Still, I couldn't help but feel as though a heavy weight had been lifted. My mood was considerably lighter for the rest of the afternoon.

A/N: Check out the homepage listed on my profile for an early peek at the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

The boys had gone off to play Quidditch, leaving Hermione and me lounging in the garden, exhausted by the thick summer heat. Long blades of grass tickled my cheeks, and I had almost drifted to sleep in the spotted shade thrown by the leaves above us when Hermione turned over restlessly to face me.

She was wearing a dress again today, and I couldn't help but stare at the soft curves of her long, sun-kissed legs.

"Ginny, it's so hot." Hermione whined, and I struggled to ignore the way her neckline hung when she leaned toward me, exposing the trail of flawless skin from her collarbones to the pink fabric of her bra. I absentmindedly ran a hand over my own flat chest, wishing I looked more feminine.

"Um," I struggled to form a coherent response, but between the heat and the thoughts racing through my head, I could barely remember what she had just said. Finally, I offered the only helpful suggestion I could think of. "There's a swimming hole about half a mile back through those woods."

"Really?" I hadn't expected her to actually want to swim, "That actually sounds incredible right now."

"Well, to be honest, I haven't had a chance to buy a suit this year…"

Hermione grinned wickedly. "Well, the boys should be gone for a few hours, right?"

"Yes…"

"And your closest neighbors?"

"Miles away."

"You know, I've never been skinny dipping." I tried to hide the shock on my face. I had definitely not expected the conversation to take this direction.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. It's bloody hot out here! Why? Do you not want to?"

"No! I mean, yes, I want to. It sounds like fun. I'll just… I'll go get some towels and then we can go." I rushed into the house, bracing myself against the laundry room sink and forcing a few deep breaths before grabbing a couple of towels and running back out. _What if Fred and George are right? _I wondered, _Would Hermione still want to do this with me if she knew I might have… weird feelings… for her?_

"Don't tell me you've lost your nerve." Hermione grinned at me, and before I could form another coherent thought I was leading her into the woods.

I tried not to stare as she slid out of her sundress and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. I wiggled clumsily out of my clothes, following her to the edge of the water.

"Is it cold?" she asked.

"I don't know!"

"Will you go in first?" I shrugged and waded in, feeling uneasy and looking forward to having our bodies obscured by the ripples. I didn't want her to catch me staring at her fascinating body, and it was hard not to let my eyes stray to the patch of soft looking fuzz between her legs. I could feel her eyes on my body, and looked at her in shock when I heard her giggle.

"What's so funny?" My tone was a little defensive.

"I'm sorry Ginny. It's just… what they say about redheads is true." She couldn't help but laugh at the puzzled look on my face, and my surprised expression as my eyes followed hers down my body past my waist.

"Hermione!" I turned away, hoping she wouldn't be able to see how hard I was blushing.

"Actually I think it's pretty. I'm a little jealous." I heard her slipping into the water behind me, and my imagination ran wild.

"You don't think I look like a boy?" I pouted at her over my shoulder, arms crossed over my breasts, still feeling so naked standing in the waist deep water.

"Maybe a really cute one." she teased.

Feeling worse, I sunk down until the water was sliding around my shoulders. "Ginny, don't be that way. You're perfect." And I was blushing harder now, as much as I tried not to. She drifted over beside me, taking my face in my hands and forcing me to look at her. "I didn't mean for you to feel bad. I was just thinking, remember that night second year? Well, your first year at Hogwarts. When you talked me into that game of truth or dare?"

"Yeah, why?" I could feel the heat flooding my cheeks, utterly uncontrollable now.

"Well, I was thinking about what Jen said, about kissing… What if I'm really bad at it or something?"

"I bet you're not."

"But how do I know? What if the first time I kiss a boy I like, I ruin everything because I have no clue what I'm doing?"

"Are you…" the swarm of butterflies in my stomach swelled uncontrollably now, "I mean, do you think we should practice or something?"

"I don't know," she paused, then tentatively, paying close attention to my question, added, "maybe."

"Well…" the butterflies had spread through my entire body, and it was hard to think over the loud buzzing in my head. She mistook my hesitation for reluctance.

"If you don't want to-"

"-no, I think you're right." Maybe when I kissed her and felt nothing, it would clear my head of the annoying worries once and for all.

"Do you want to?"

"Well, I mean, it's probably a good idea."

Then Hermione closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly, leaning toward me gracefully.

"Wait, now?"

"Should we wait?"

"But we're naked!" and I didn't like how much that excited me.

"Ginny, what if I'm a terrible kisser? We don't know if we'll have another chance even, and now's the perfect time."

"You're right, but what if they see us? I mean, it doesn't count or anything, but if someone walks up and we're just kissing naked in the water here…"

"Hold on." Hermione climbed out of the water. I watched the beads of water sliding enticingly down her curves as she walked toward the pile of clothes on the ground.

"What are you doing?" I hoped she wouldn't turn around, because I wasn't sure I could stop myself from staring at her breasts.

"I brought my wand. I'll make an alarm go off if anyone gets too close. Really, I should have thought to do this before we undressed anyway."

"Oh… Alright, then." I wanted to do this, wanted it more than I could remember ever wanting anything, but I was terrified I'd do it wrong. I turned to stare off into the green light of the sun filtered through thousands of tiny leaves, hoping she would think the redness of my cheeks was caused by the coolness of the water.

"Ginny, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to."

"I know, Hermione. I want to. I just don't want my brothers teasing me about it for the rest of my life." I heard her sliding into the water behind me, felt the slight current created by her body as she drew close.

"Are you ready?" Her voice buzzed softly in my ear. I turned to face her and all at once, her lips were on mine, fingers tangling in my hair. It didn't feel the way I had imagined.

It felt so much better.

_Fuck! _was all I could think. And we kept kissing. Her tongue was warm and soft against mine and when she exhaled it tickled my upper lip. Suddenly she pulled away.

"Someone's coming!"

"What? I didn't hear anything."

"You didn't cast the charm." She was rushing out of the water. I followed her, and had just managed to wrap the towel around my body when I heard footsteps coming from the direction of the house. She held her wand nervously, lowering it when Fred and George appeared.

"Are we interrupting something?" one of them asked, looking us over.

"No, not at all. We just got warm and thought we'd go for a swim." Hermione smiled at them, and I wished I could smile that way. Hers was the kind of smile that could melt a man's will in an instant.

"Right… Mum saw you headed off this way with the towels and thought we'd find you here. She wanted me to tell you supper's ready."

"Right. Thanks Fred." I mumbled.

"I'm George."

"Whatever. Can you leave us alone for a moment so we can get dressed?"

"Sure thing, ladies." they wiggled their eyebrows suggestively before vanishing into the trees. As soon as they were gone, Hermione turned to me expectantly.

"What?" I asked, puzzled,

"Well, how was it?" I had never seen her so impatient.

"Oh, that. It was… you were good. Definitely. Was I okay?"

"Yeah." I wasn't sure, but I thought she might be blushing.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

Dinner that night was almost unbearable. Hermione was flawless, and it made watching a table full of teenaged boys eating even more unpleasant than usual. It was also hard for me to stop staring at her pink and perfect lips. My mind wasn't in my body, it was still in the water, with Hermione's body sliding close to mine in the lacy shadows cast by the leaves…

"Ginny!" Ron leaned across the table, waving a hand in front of my face.

"What?" I was pissed, and I didn't know why.

"Can you pass me the potatoes or not?"

I pushed the heavily laden dish across the table, watching him pile a large heap onto his plate.

"Excuse me, I've lost my appetite." My chair scraped against the floor and I was leaving before anyone could say a word, my bare feet hugging each of the steps that led to my room. I was coming undone, and I wasn't even sure what was going on. I buried my face in the pillow, praying the tears wouldn't leave my eyes red enough for anyone to notice.

After a moment of letting my body tremble with silent sobs, I felt a weight on the bed beside me.

"Ginny, are you okay?"

I sniffled, turning to face her.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Was it this afternoon? Ginny, I really didn't mean to push you into that and you have no idea how sorry I am if I rushed you into anything."

"No, this afternoon was fine." Better than fine, if I was honest with myself.

"Then what is it?"

Even if I'd known what the problem was, I wasn't sure I could talk about it, especially with Hermione of all people. "This afternoon just got me thinking… I don't think any boys even know I exist." I was afraid to tell her how little interest boys held for me at all.

"Believe me, they notice." Her smile was teasing but reassuring. I dreaded the start of term. Hermione and I would be in separate rooms once again, and I was terrified of losing the closeness that developed between us in the summer. I turned away, afraid to meet her eyes when I spoke next.

"Hermione?"

"What?"

"Do you think it's normal… I mean, did you like it too?"

"Like what?"

"You know… practicing."

"I think it's normal to like it. I mean, kissing is fun and you're my best friend and I care about you, so I don't think it's weird to like it when we practice."

I tried not to let the joy I felt at being referred to as her best friend distract me. "Yeah, you're right." The relief was clear in my voice.

"Ginny, you worry too much about what's normal. I think you're perfect just the way you are."

"Thanks." My cheeks burned red. How could I even take that compliment seriously from a girl as beautiful and poised as she was? I spent every day struggling to abolish the endless uncivilized, unfeminine habits that had washed over me after years of imitating my older brothers.

I rolled over to face her. The sunset blazing through the window painted everything a fiery orange. She smiled at me and before I could think about it I was brushing my fingers across her glowing cheek. I froze, unsure how she would react, but she just let her eyes drift shut for a moment before reaching up to brush away the last of my tears. I didn't mean to kiss her, but her touch drew me forward and she was leaning in and before I knew what was happening my tongue was dancing in her hot mouth, She wrapped her arms around me, closing the distance between our bodies. My heart raced as I reached slowly around her, feeling the warmth radiating from her bare shoulders and tracing the curve of her spine with my fingertips. She shuddered, pressing the softness of her body closer to mine. Her scent was incredible, coursing through me every time I drew in another hurried breath. She was as flushed as I was when we drew apart, hands lingering on one another's bodies.

"We should probably go back downstairs." Hermione murmured regretfully. "Harry and Ron wanted to follow me up here but I talked them out of it. They're probably anxious to know you're okay."

I nodded. I felt a bit confused, but overall, my mood had improved considerably. The sun was glowing red now. We found Harry and Ron in the back yard, watching Fred and George build a fire. We sat around it while the sky deepened to purple and faded into dark blue, stars gleaming brilliantly above the trees. We drank a great deal of Butterbeer, drawing closer to the fire as the night air grew cold, our voices growing louder and our laughter coming more easily with every passing hour.

I was quieter than usual, but I wasn't sad. I felt oddly peaceful and content, watching the warm light dancing in Hermione's dark eyes. The time passed quickly and before I knew it I was creeping up the stairs behind Hermione, doubled over with stifled giggles, praying we wouldn't wake my parents. I shut the door a little too loudly behind us and we fell into bed together, limbs tangling limply. I stared at her silhouette while my eyes adjusted to the darkness, enjoying the way moonlight fell across her skin.

As her eyes came into focus I realized she was looking at me too. The kiss was a little clumsy, but mush more fervent than those we had shared before. Her hands twisted in my hair and she pressed against me, sending a rush of excitement pulsing through my body. I stared at her, stunned, as she broke the kiss, then smiled at me and went to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

Time passed quickly in a wave of longing looks and stolen kisses shared fervently with Hermione. It seemed like only moments before we were stumbling bleary-eyed to the portkey that would take us to the Quidditch Cup.

It was exciting, though in the large tent we weren't exactly sharing a bed, and that made me ache just the tiniest bit. I really couldn't imagine living in separate rooms when we returned to school, floating through our separate universes that rarely would overlap. I had wandered off by myself the morning before the Death Eater attack when sleek, flowing black hair caught my eye. The girl turned her head, and as her fierce blue eyes met mine, my stomach leapt at the realization that I had run into Jen.

When she graduated, I thought I would never see her again, but there she stood, in a tank top and tiny denim shorts that made my head spin.

_This is not happening._ I told myself, but she had seen me, and was walking toward me. There was nothing I could do to escape without seeming utterly insane, so I smiled and waved.

"Hey, Ginny." She remembered my name!

"Er, hi." She was still breathtaking. Her eyes were still incredibly blue and innocent, even though her face had grown even more playful and knowing. My stomach was doing flips inside my body.

"How've you been?" She asked.

"Good." My voice almost trembled.

"Hey, I lost my necklace in the woods. Would you mind helping me look for it?"

"Um, sure." Maybe this wasn't a good idea, but still I was following her, watching the slight changes in the shape of her body as she planted her feet on uneven ground.

And as soon as we were far enough away from camp that nobody could see us, she was looking at me in the strangest way.

"You've really filled out, Ginny."

"Thanks." I blushed.

She was looking at me with those intense eyes, and leaning closer and closer and before I could even catch a breath she had me pushed against a tree, lips crushing mine, parting them as her tongue plundered my mouth.

I didn't close my eyes. I was too stunned to stop her, too confused by the fear and the arousal and the strange sense that I was doing something wrong, something so much more wrong than any kiss I had ever shared with Hermione.

As Jen's fingers grazed my nipple I realized how hard it was. And my mouth was responding to hers, even though I wished it wouldn't. And my hips were rushing forward and her bare thigh was between my legs. I could feel the roughness of the denim on my crotch and my breaths came faster and faster.

I was buzzing with sensation as her fingers danced gracefully down my thigh and my own shorts slid down my legs. Her hot tongue brushed my navel as she tore my knickers aside and I tried to cry out, to stop her, but as her mouth travelled lower, my protests were stifled by the air rushing in and the tiny moans rushing out.

I couldn't imagine anything ever feeling this good and I whimpered when she pulled away, rushing up to kiss me again. I tasted my own juices on her lips and was on the verge of begging for more when she pulled away, a single restraining hand resting just below my breasts, pinning me against the tree.

"Do you like that, Weasley?"

I whimpered and nodded, unable to form coherent speech.

"Do you want me to keep going?" She asked.

"Yes!" I moaned, struggling to keep my voice low so that nothing could interrupt this.

She pushed me to the ground, jerking her own shorts out of the way, then forced my head between her legs.

"Get me off, and I'll rock your world." Her voice carried no tenderness, but I wanted nothing more than to feel her tongue sliding against my hot quivering flesh once more.

It was the first time I ever tasted a woman.

I slid my tongue over her, shocked to discover that she had shaved or spelled away her pubic hair. I found the silky surface oddly enticing, and when her taste reached my lips, all shyness vanished and my tongue rushed into her, flicking gently then probing deeply, moving as though it had a mind of its own.

She cried out appreciatively, and I prayed no one would hear, even though this was wrong, even though this shouldn't be happening. I couldn't bear to stop now.

And as I drank in her taste as though I had spent my entire life painfully parched, I felt her fingers slide into me, and my body tensed. Her hips bucked forward and I pressed harder against her, feeling her tense against my face.

She made the most beautiful sound as her peak shook her entire body, one leg flinging itself over my shoulder to pull me close. I felt the tingling, desperate need building within me, and the way her fingers danced inside my body.

I cried out in unimaginable ecstasy, far beyond caring whether anyone heard. I was vaguely aware of the sound of her zipping up her shorts and walking away as I drifted into a heavy sleep.

I wandered back to the tent a few hours later, still feeling a little dazed. A part of me wanted to tell Hermione what had happened, but I just couldn't. Instead, I made some feeble excuse about having wandered too far and forgetting where exactly we were camped. Hermione looked skeptical, and Fred and George grinned at me knowingly, but no one pressed the matter.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

Watching the Quidditch World Cup wasn't as much fun as I had hoped. I love the game, but it was hard to focus, especially after seeing the Veelas. I didn't know they could affect girls, too. I'm still not sure whether it's because I like girls or women simply handle the desires better. Hermione seemed a bit dazed, too.

She forgot about them easily, but once I was turned on, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened with Jen. I felt guilty, and I was starting to understand why. What was going on with Hermione, whatever label might apply to it, was something special and unique, something that had grown from our close friendship, and to do these things with a random girl was definitely a betrayal of Hermione's trust. I spent the entire match trying to think of how to tell her, wondering if I even should.

When the match was over and we had returned to the tent, the Butterbeer was flowing freely, and Dad even let us have some Firewhiskey on the condition no one told Mum. I was working up the nerve to tell her, I think, when the chaos started. Fred and George held me tight as we were jostled violently in the crowd, and all I could think of was Hermione. It felt like days before we found the others and I finally knew she was safe. I threw my arms around her and wept, not caring whether it aroused suspicion. No one thought much of it, though, since we were all so afraid. We knew we wouldn't be able to sleep that night, so we just held each other, staring into the darkness until dawn crept up around us.

Even when I was in the Chamber of Secrets first year, I don't think I was as scared as I was that night. Maybe I was too young then to believe I could really die, or maybe it was just that the thought of living on alone is sometimes much more terrifying than death. We were both trembling at first, and we didn't say a word, but stared into one another's eyes, for once more afraid to look away than we were afraid to be caught looking. I'm not sure, but I think that was the night I fell in love with Hermione.

We spent the rest of the summer practically joined at the hip, and I never told her about what happened with Jen. I dreaded the start of term more than I ever had before. Every hour that passed brought me closer to sleeping alone, and I wasn't sure I even knew how anymore. Hermione seemed excited about the coming school year, and even though I knew it was a normal thing for her to feel, I couldn't help but be hurt. I wished she wanted to stay together as badly as I did.

I was right to fear the start of term. Hermione got lost in her work and interactions with Ron and Harry, and I was pushed off into the background. I spent most of my free time with Neville and Luna, while almost everyone else ignored me. Sometimes in the hall, my eyes would catch hers a searing ache would flash through me. There were days when I hid in the bathroom with my knees to my chest and my heart pounding, wondering if breathing would ever feel right again.

When I found out she was going to the ball with Krum, I was shattered. Neville spent the night with me in the Room of Requirement, holding me while I cried and doing everything he could to comfort me. He was entering a tentative relationship with Luna at the time, but she knew I didn't like men so she never had a problem with us spending time alone. I was startled when he asked to take me, but he explained that Luna had already turned him down. She liked Neville, but a boy she'd been close with since they were children attended Durmstrang, and had asked her to accompany him in a strictly platonic manner.

It seemed better than moping, and the sulking, resentful part of me wanted to know if she would look at him the way she had once looked at me. When I told her I was going with Neville, she stiffened a little, but smiled and said she was happy for me. I didn't want her to be happy for me; I wanted her to be miserable without me!

When I saw the way her gown cradled those soft, delicate curves I felt as though I'd been stabbed in the stomach, but the strong arm around my shoulders pulled me closer to the comforting warmth of Neville's body.

"Ginny," he pleaded, "let's have a good time tonight, okay?"

I nodded, but silently wondered if I'd ever feel pleasure or joy again. Hermione's hair was expertly tamed, which made it easier for me to pretend she wasn't the love of my life, but only just. I preferred the way her goddess hair naturally cascaded around her shoulders, the way it reached out and touched anything that came close enough.

Neville was an amazing dancer. Even I must have looked graceful in his arms, following his lead. Luna's eyes sparkled with pride, even as she danced awkwardly with her childhood friend. I couldn't help but look at Hermione again and again, and drink another cider to dull the pain. As the night wore on, I felt a burden lifting. A girl from my dorm took me aside and gave me some of the sweet peach liquor I drank with Hermione that night first year. We passed the bottle back and forth for a while, and with every sip I saw flashes of the way her soft white nightgown had drifted over her body, illuminated every time she walked through a patch of bright moonlight thrown by the high windows. I couldn't stand it, so I made an excuse and went back to Neville.

We danced harder and my head started to spin, but it all felt good. I excused myself to the restroom, almost dancing as I walked. My heart froze when I stepped out of the stall and my eyes met hers in the mirror.

"Having a good time?" she asked.

I was more than a little drunk and I leaned a bit on the sink while I washed my hands.

"Neville's a wonderful dancer." I informed her.

"You make a cute couple." She commented offhandedly, and I was stunned by her assumption.

"Maybe when this thing's over we'll find an abandoned classroom and I'll fuck his brains out."

"Ginny!" She sounded horrified. I wanted her to sound jealous.

"Have fun with Krum." I flashed her a bitter smile and returned to the dance floor.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

Hermione's eyes were on me for most of the night, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to make her jealous. I felt good in Neville's arms, light, graceful, and feminine in a way I had never considered myself. The movements purged me of the pain that had been welling up, and I let him sweep me across the dance floor, enjoying the way wisps of stray hair tickled my neck.

We stayed until the music stopped and the lights went back on, long after Hermione had vanished. I was almost enjoying myself enough not to notice when she left. Almost.

I stayed as long as I could, on purpose, hoping she would conclude that I was off necking somewhere, and that it would hurt her the way it hurt me to see her in Viktor's arms. When Neville finally convinced me that it was time to get some sleep, we found her waiting in the shadows of the common room. Neville quickly kissed my cheek and vanished up the stairs to the boy's dormitories.

"Where were you?" She demanded.

"What do you care?" I moved closer to her, and was shocked when I caught the scent of Firewhiskey on her breath.

"You're my friend, Ginny. Whether you like it or not, I worry about you."

"Is that all? I'm back, and I'm fine. Now I'm going to bed." I turned, and her hand caught my wrist.

"What's your problem?" She sounded like she honestly didn't know.

"So this summer, how close we were, the things we did, it was all just practice for when we ran off with boys?"

"Well, yes, that was the idea."

"Good to know."

"What did you think it was?"

"Nothing! And since it was just practice, it doesn't matter what I did with Jen, does it?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Jen graduated."

"She was at the world cup."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Like you said, what happened between us was practice, and nothing else. It doesn't matter if I did those things with someone else then, does it?"

"What happened?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"I'm your friend, you're supposed to tell me things." Her face was flushed with anger, though she tried to contain it.

"Fine," I spat venomously, "I'll tell you. Remember when I wandered off the morning before the attack?"

She nodded, and I knew she realized what I was going to say.

"I was a little flustered when I came back, was I not?"

"I wanted to ask you about that, but I couldn't get you alone."

"I wanted to tell you, but I guess it doesn't matter, since it was just practice."

"Tell me what happened." She was standing so close I could feel the heat of her body, and my back was against the wall.

"I followed her into the woods, and as soon as we were far enough away from everyone else, we did things together that I've never done with anyone. We kissed each other all over, and it felt incredible."

"I can't believe you did that, after everything I went through to protect you from her!"

"It doesn't matter," I said bitterly, "it was only practice."

Her eyes were swimming with tears as she slapped me, hard, and ran up the stairs to her room. I didn't bother trying to follow her; I was too shocked by her reaction. I wondered if she was jealous, and hated myself for wishing so desperately that I had the same kind of power over her that she had over me.

Numbly, I made my way upstairs, climbing into bed as soon as I had undressed so no one would ask what was wrong. I wouldn't even know where to begin to answer that question.

Hermione ignored me completely for days after that, and it was weeks before she would say more than one or two words in response to anything I asked her. The boys, as always, were oblivious to what passed between us, stuffing themselves and speculating through mouthfuls of food about the Triwizard tasks Harry would face. It was easier that way. I didn't know what I'd tell Ron if he asked. Harry frequently looked as though on the verge of asking Hermione what was bothering her, but always thought better of it. Ron had started clinging awkwardly to Hermione, careful to never let her have time alone with other males. This suited me just fine, of course. I couldn't imagine her giving in to his clumsy, misdirected advances.

Meanwhile, my grades were suffering. I was losing weight and had less energy than I used to. How could I eat with her sitting near me, pretending I didn't exist? People started to worry about me. Teachers took me aside, asked if I was alright. They told me I seemed distracted, asked if something was bothering me. Someone was, but I refused to tell. Neville and Luna were getting frustrated. Finally, Neville cornered me and threatened to confront Hermione himself if I didn't talk to her.

That evening, I cornered her in the common room as soon as the boys had gone to bed.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I fought to sound sure of myself, but my body was trembling, and I knew she could tell.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ginny."

"Can't we please go back to the way we were?"

"When? Nothing has changed between us."

"Hermione," I pleaded, "stop pretending you never cared about me." She looked startled.

"Of course I care about you, but you've made it abundantly clear that you want to have your space."

"You're mad about what happened with Jen."

Her silence was answer enough, so I pressed on.

"I didn't go off with her on purpose, and I should've walked away the moment I saw her, but what about you going out with Krum?"

"I don't see how that's relevant to our friendship." she said stiffly.

"It's relevant to something, and you know it. You were wrong to go with him, just like I was wrong to follow Jen into the woods that day."

"What you do when I'm not present is none of my concern."

I was struggling not to cry. "I wish you cared, Hermione, because I care. I care so much about you I can't stand it, and it's not fair for you to keep pretending we have nothing. I can't pretend anymore. I can't stand having you ignore me, and I hated seeing you with him when I wanted so badly for you to be with me."

"Ginny," she looked terrified as she spoke, "no one can know what's happening between us. I didn't go out with Viktor because I wanted to. I went because I knew I'd have to go with someone and it was only a matter of time before Ron or Harry worked up the nerve to ask me, and I couldn't stand the thought of what would come after. With Viktor, at least I had the comfort of knowing nothing serious would come of it, nothing could. After the end of this year, I'll never see him again."

"So where does that leave us?"

"I care about you, Ginny."

"I care about you too, but you know that's not enough, and I need you to make a choice."

"I'm afraid of how people would react if they found out. Can we explore whatever this is between us without telling everyone?"

I would have agreed to anything. I beamed and hugged her, nodding enthusiastically.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

And so it had started. I pushed her into closets between classes, desperate to taste her lips again, if even for a moment. I snuck into her bed late at night, where she slept naked, and ran my lips over her skin until she shuddered and moaned. The aching heat between her legs tasted even more incredible than Jen had tasted, something I had thought impossible.

And she was jealous. Oh, how I loved when Hermione was jealous. I "dated" a series of boys, snogging them against walls close to the main corridors, praying I'd get caught. It made her so angry to know my lips touched anyone else, but there was nothing she could do. She refused to claim me for her own.

No matter how many kisses and clumsy fumblings I shared with the boys I dated, I always found myself picturing Hermione in vivid detail when I desperately sought my peak. I let my body tense around meaningless fingers, let the waves of pleasure course through me, knowing I only felt the way I did because my mind was somewhere else.

I always noticed Hermione in the halls, the way her skirt flowed around her legs. She wore it longer than other girls in her year, but I didn't care. I knew what was underneath, and it was enough to drive me insane.

Sometimes after class let out on Friday, we'd vanish into the room of requirement. These were the most incredible evenings of my life. She let me kiss, lick, and nibble her anywhere I wanted, knowing we wouldn't be caught. Her guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders and on mine, but when she knew no one could find us, there was nothing to stop the incredible passion that exploded every time any part of me brushed across any part of her.

When she passed me in the halls, sometimes her shoulder, or her elbow, would brush mine, and the silky skin, cool in the castle air, would send shudders up and down my spine. My friends would ask what was wrong, and I would come up with some feeble excuse, pretending my body wasn't on fire.

I was doing well in Transfiguration that year, so well, in fact, that Professor McGonagall thought I belonged in a class with older students. Hermione was mad at me for being so good at something I got moved ahead, until I reminded her that she was so good at _everything_ she could practically teach herself, and if they moved her up a year in a class, she'd only be ahead in that one, too.

Hermione let me sit by her, because others picked on me at first. I could hardly pay attention with her as my partner, even though the subject came so easily to me. Professor McGonagall was pleased by my struggles, under the impression she was presenting me with a formidable challenge. In a sense, she was, but the only challenge I faced in that class was thinking about anything other than the soft leg that brushed against mine beneath the desk, or the way Hermione's hair fell around her face when she was reading.

One week, I sat with Dean Thomas. I was "dating" him at the time, so it only made sense, but Hermione glared at me across the room so fiercely I was shocked that no one else seemed to see her anger.

The next day, she cornered me before class.

"Are you going to sit with that _boy _again?" she hissed, in a voice that was barely hers, and entirely possessive.

"Well, I think since we're a _couple_," I shot back, "it would certainly make sense. Unless you want to tell everyone I belong to _you._"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "_You _know you belong to me, and that's what matters."

"I belong to you? You had me fooled."

I had never seen such fury in her eyes. Her wand dug into my knee, sliding up my skirt until it tugged at the hem of my panties. A strange sensation washed over me as she murmured something I didn't quite catch.

"Come on, Ginny," she said, sounding far too innocent, "we have to get to class."

Stunned, I followed her. When I took my seat next to Dean I saw the threat gleaming in her eyes. _What has she done?_ I wondered.

Fifteen minutes into class, nothing had happened. I was just starting to relax when I felt a strange fluttering between my legs. Hermione was staring at me, her eyes filled with an intensity I had seen only in my dreams. My panties had a mind of their own, undulating against me as I struggled desperately to retain my composure, to turn my pincushion into something that resembled a mouse. The resulting creature had large, haunting eyes, and ears that vibrated so fast they looked like little blurs.

Hermione wore a smirk now that made me writhe in my seat. I knew exactly what she was doing. Her pincushion sat before her unchanged, and she wasn't the least bit concerned.

"Are you alright, Ginny?" Dean's whisper was rough and low in my ear, but I could hardly spare enough space in my mind to be sure he existed. I nodded dumbly, painfully aware of the flush creeping over my body as Hermione watched me with that smug smirk on her face.

My legs were shaking and she just smiled, like nothing at all was happening between us, even though I could tell from where I sat that the wand held between her fingers wasn't pointed at her pincushion at all.

And my panties writhed against me as I watched the wicked gleam in her eyes. It was all I could do to stop the moans from escaping, to hiss at Dean that he should focus on his own work, to tell him I had a headache and nothing else was wrong. It took my full concentration to hold still, to keep from gasping and flailing in the middle of class as I felt the bliss I knew _she_ was inflicting.

And just as the bell rang, Hermione's wand flicked toward her pincushion, leaving a perfect mouse in its place.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

The incident in Transfiguration, it turned out, was only the first of many. Hermione knew she drove me wild, made my heart race and my head spin until I wanted to laugh and cry and fall to pieces. I couldn't hold back the way she could, pretending the thing that had grown between us was some silly little high-school crush.

I cornered her after class, knees still shaking from the strangest orgasm of my life.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I hissed in her ear, pinning her against the wall.

She smirked at me, the picture of innocence. Sometimes I think that girl should have ended up in Slytherin. "Are you all right, Ginny? You seemed terribly distracted in class just now."

"Don't play dumb, Hermione! How could you do that to me?"

"How could I do what?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, growing more confident as she made me angrier. "You know what you did! Stop fucking with me!" People were starting to stare. Her hand met my shoulder, casually pushing me away, and she spoke louder, so that everyone could hear.

"Look, Gin, I'm sorry Dean distracted you in class today, but you have no right to bite my head off. I have to go to the Library to study tonight. If you want you can come with me and I'll help you catch up on anything you had trouble with today."

I heard a few sniggers as the crowd around us started to disperse. Class would be starting soon. I shot her a glare that would make anyone else wither. She just smiled sweetly and leaned in.

"You don't have to pretend to be mad at me. I know you liked it." Her lips brushed my cheek in a quick kiss no one saw, and she rushed off towards her next class.

I wasn't pretending to be mad. I was furious. And the thing that made me angriest of all was the awareness blossoming at her last sentence.

She was right. I was so insanely turned on I was sorely tempted to skip my next lesson and hope to God the dormitory was empty. Unfortunately, I had Potions next. Snape would have my head. I stalked off toward the dungeons, hoping I'd make it in time.

I was the last student to arrive, but everyone was still getting settled, and by some miracle, I managed to throw myself into the seat Luna always saved for me before the Greasy Bat stormed through the door. He barked out the usual threats while instructions appeared on the board. We were brewing a fairly simple pain relief potion today, and I was glad we weren't working with anything particularly volatile.

"You seem distracted." Luna mused, as I chopped the gurdyroots with an unusual amount of hostility.

"Mmm." I hoped she would drop it. She didn't.

"Is everything alright with Dean?"

"Fantastic." I don't think I sounded particularly convincing through gritted teeth.

"Clearly." Her pale fingers caught the hand holding my knife just in time to stop me from slicing into my left hand. I sighed as she weighed out the proper portion and started dropping the pieces in the cauldron, a few at a time. The penetrating gaze she had fixed on me was most un-Luna-like.

"Actually, Hermione's been getting on my nerves."

"Oh?"

"Nothing interesting. Just being her usual pushy self."

Luna waited for a moment before speaking, clearly hoping I would say more. "How does Hermione feel about your relationship with Dean?"

I almost dropped the glass jar I was holding. "What? Fine I guess. I mean, why would it matter to her who I date?"

"Oh, I don't know." She smiled dreamily. "Maybe she's jealous."

I almost choked. I could feel the redness in my cheeks, and glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to us before asking "What's that supposed to mean? Why would she be jealous of Dean?"

Luna had an annoying habit of picking up on things I'd rather went unnoticed. She shrugged. "I know the two of you are very close. A new boyfriend tends to monopolize your time. Maybe she feels a little left out."

"How can she feel left out?" I was having a hard time concealing my frustration. "She's always spending time with Ron and Harry. What does she care if I spend some of my time with someone else?"

"She isn't dating Ron and Harry. When you're spending time with her, I doubt those two are on her mind the way Dean is on yours."

I groaned. Sometimes I felt like girls were impossible to understand, even though I was one. Maybe it was a side effect of growing up with so many brothers. "Thanks, Luna. I guess I can be a little insensitive sometimes."

She nodded. "I find I have to think much harder than most about how I should interact with others. People are so terribly complicated."

"Yeah."

"Ginny?"

"Hmm?"

"Is there something else bothering you? Anything you want to talk about?"

I wished I could tell her everything that was really going on. For someone whose head was always in the clouds, Luna was decidedly insightful. "No," I said, "nothing I want to talk about here, at least."

Luna did most of the work on the potion, and I was grateful she was such a good friend. As distracted as I was, I would have definitely ended up in detention without her covering for me.

I sat with Dean at dinner and pointedly ignored Hermione. She stopped trying to make conversation with me before anyone noticed. At the end of the meal, she announced her trip to the library and invited me to join her. I declined as icily as I could without drawing unwanted attention.

"Are you mad at her or something?" Dean asked. I hated when he talked with his mouth full. I shook my head.

"She just gets on my nerves sometimes, always pestering me about my work."

"Oh. Some of the guys are going to go flying out on the grounds after dinner. Do you want to come watch?"

I hated him for inviting me to watch them like an idiot instead of flying with them, but I knew I was expected to sit on the grass and talk to the other girls instead. "No. I have an essay due tomorrow. Maybe later after you've showered and everything we can hang out in the common room for a while."

I smiled suggestively, hoping he caught my not-so-subtle hint that I wouldn't let him touch me if he came in smelling like a troll again. Men are fucking dense.

He just grinned back at me, then leaned over and stuffed his slimy tongue in my mouth before strutting out of the room.

I wondered if Hermione would be studying late tonight. Maybe she would catch us making out in the common room.

I hated myself for thinking things like that.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

I had trouble focusing on my assignments that night. I couldn't stop thinking about what Hermione had done to me in class earlier, and couldn't help but dread spending time with Dean later. I almost wanted to break up with him that night, but I wasn't sure how she would have reacted. I felt bad about not wanting him the way he wanted me, and ending the relationship seemed pointless when it was blatantly obvious that whatever was happening with Hermione wasn't going anywhere at the time. The bottom line was that I was lonely. Sure, Luna and Neville were always happy to spend time with me, but when I was with both of them I inevitably felt like a third wheel, and Dean wasn't so bad when he wasn't trying to get me to make out with him.

He came bursting in a little while after it got dark outside, flushed and sweaty, talking and laughing with his friends. After pausing to give me a decidedly suggestive look, he followed them upstairs to shower off. I shuddered involuntarily, thinking of his expectations for the evening, and the inevitability of his attempts to push things much farther than I cared to take them. By the time he fell onto the sofa beside me, I'd given up on getting any homework done and was just staring into the fire, only half aware of my own thoughts. I nearly jumped when he started talking, and my stomach did a little flip when I looked around and realized that most of our housemates had already gone to bed. His cheap cologne hit me like a ton of bricks, and I eyed him suspiciously when I noticed that his hair was slicked back and his clothes looked a lot nicer than usual.

"Ginny? You in there?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"I was thinking, too." I was glad he didn't bother asking what I was thinking about, since I really didn't care to talk about it with him.

"Careful, you wouldn't want to strain yourself."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"Anyway, it's a really pretty night, and I was thinking… Seamus told me about this old Astronomy tower. Even Filch doesn't bother checking it anymore, and he goes up there all the time to… um, think and stuff." I rolled my eyes. He could have at least tried to pretend he wasn't taking me to his best friend's make-out spot. He didn't notice, and went on excitedly. "I was thinking maybe we could take some blankets up with us, and you know, stargaze or whatever."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You want to take me stargazing, Dean?"

He blushed. "I thought it would be, well, romantic."

"Right. I didn't finish my work, so I have to be up early tomorrow, so I don't know if that's the best idea."

"Oh. That's too bad. I got some Firewhiskey from my cousin last weekend and I thought we could share it under the stars."

Firewhiskey, huh? That certainly did change things. I wouldn't normally drink on a school night, of course, but it sounded unusually tempting. I was, however, a bit worried he would start getting handsy with me if I followed him up there all alone. "I have to admit, that does sound nice." It would probably at least be a better way to spend my time than waiting around with him and hoping Hermione would walk in on us.

"Come on, we'll have a good time."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "You're not just trying to get in my pants or something, are you?"

"What? Me?" He tried to look innocent, and I swatted at him playfully.

"You know I want to wait until I'm married." Or longer, if he was my best option.

"That's fine. We can just talk if you want."

I sighed. "Fine. Let's get up there before curfew, at least."

He raced up the stairs to his dorm and was rushing back down moments later with his school bag, carrying a couple of blankets. I followed him through a labyrinth of seldom used hallways and up a stone staircase carpeted in dust. He was right. The view from up there was amazing. We could see over the green velvet of the grounds and out across the lake. It was an exceptionally clear night and the brisk wind moving through my hair felt nice.

Dean opened the bottle, took a hearty swig, then passed it to me. The burn as I swallowed felt good, reassuring, as it washed away some of the tension the day had left. A part of me still kept nagging about what he likely wanted from tonight, but I couldn't think about that now. Time passed, and we drank, and we talked. The more personal his questions grew, the more lies I told him. I just couldn't bear the thought of sharing the truth with someone I barely even trusted. As the air grew cooler and my head started to swim, he leaned in and his hot lips captured mine.

I let him kissed me, closed my eyes and pretended I couldn't feel the stubble on his face or the thickness of his tongue as our mouths moved together. I let my hands rest tentatively on his lower back, trying to ignore the sensations that made me aware of how very male he was, of how his touch was nothing like Hermione's.

His fingers slid over my cheek, then down my neck. I pulled away as he cupped my breast. I had allowed him to do so a million times before, but this time felt different. This time felt wrong. Suddenly, I saw with full clarity where he hoped tonight would end.

"Dean, I'm serious about the virgin thing."

"That's fine," he panted, hot breath thick against my ear, "but there are other things we can do." His mouth latched onto my neck and his tongue fluttered against my skin for a long time. He pulled away and grinned suggestively as his hand crept up my thigh, and now I _knew_ with utter certainty that he planned on our bodies becoming one by the end of the night, that leaving me technically intact was only a small detail to him.

The summer rushed through my head, every glance, every kiss I had shared with Hermione, and even that morning in the woods with Jen. I shivered, cold sweat making my skin prickle, and pulled back.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Dean, I can't."

He kissed me again, this time harder, sucking on my neck until I winced and squirmed away. I was shocked by the stinging on my palm as the slap rang out, and by the redness I saw blossoming on his cheek before I turned and ran down the winding staircase, away from the tower and through seemingly endless passages until I was thoroughly and completely lost in the castle's depths.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

That was when I bumped into Hermione, who was walking blindly ahead, and quickly folded a large piece of parchment and stuffed it into her pocket as she became aware of our collision. I hoped she couldn't see the tears that fought to escape my eyes.

"Where were you?" she asked, exasperated.

"Why do you care?" I spat.

"You're my friend, Ginny. I worry when you're gone." Wrong answer.

"I was with Dean."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Hermione." Actually, I was fighting tears. I couldn't stop thinking about everything I felt for her, and how badly I wanted her to acknowledge that there was something between us.

She stopped me. "Ginny, what happened?"

"None of your fucking business."

"I _care_ about you. Please, talk to me." She looked at me with an intensity that was hard to resist or deny.

"I was with Dean." I grudgingly acknowledged.

She didn't look surprised. "What happened?"

She was standing close now, but I pushed her away. "I don't want to talk about it."

Hermione moved closer, and I found myself pinned against a wall.

"Talk to me." she insisted.

"No." My voice was flat, devoid of emotion as I turned and started to move away from her again

She stopped me. "Why are you shutting me out?"

"You damn well know why, Hermione. The innocent act doesn't work for you, so drop it."

She looked so hurt then, I almost wanted to apologize.

Almost.

I tried to leave again, and this time she didn't stop me. I hated myself when I realized that I couldn't walk away from her. I turned around, and she looked like she was about to start crying. I sighed.

"Dean just wants things I'm not ready for yet. He tried to get me to do something, and I wouldn't. End of story."

"Something you aren't ready to do, or something you aren't ready to do with _him_?" Hermione could see right through me, and I hated it.

"What do you think?" My voice was full of poison, even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there.

"What do I think?" Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks, but she clung to her composure. "I think Dean is completely wrong for you, Ginny."

I was drawing closer to her again. I didn't want to, but I couldn't seem to stop. "If he's so wrong, please enlighten me, who's right?" my face was inches from hers, even though I couldn't remember drawing this close.

She didn't say a word, but her fingers dove into my hair and her lips met mine. Maybe I was naïve, but I couldn't stop her from kissing me. It felt too perfect. My arms wrapped around her, and soon our bodies were as close as was physically possible, legs intertwined. We clung desperately to one another, kissing furiously, until finally, she pulled away.

"Ginny…" Her voice was pained.

"What?" I was praying she wouldn't tell me this was wrong, or ask me to stop touching her. The world swam around me.

"I can't have people think I'm… _like this._" You know what I'm talking about. I don't think it would be good for you either if rumors started to spread.

"Rumors?" That was the last thing I cared about right now. We were alone, and she was touching me, and it was perfect. What could be wrong?

"That I'm…" it sounded like it hurt her to say it, "not normal."

"I don't understand."

She sighed. "Maybe you're too young to fully understand how much it matters what people think. But this-" she gestured between us, "this, as far as everyone else knows, can't happen. I can't like you that way. I have to be _normal._"

"Hermione, nothing has ever felt this natural to me."

She sighed. "I know. I feel the same way, but…"

"But what?"

She pulled me closer, smiling sadly. "You really are innocent, aren't you? If people find out how we feel, they'll talk."

I knew that. On some level, I had always known. "So let them talk."

She sighed. "I wish it were that simple. I want to _be_ something. It's going to be hard enough as it is just because my parents were muggles,"

"Hermione, no one cares who your parents were."

"I wish you were right. _Everyone_ cares, Ginny, and I don't think I'm supposed to be the way I am. It messes everything up."

I didn't understand, but still, I nodded, hoping she would feel less alone, daring to hope, on some level, that she might feel closer to me.

"We should probably be getting back." She muttered.

I nodded, even though I would have gladly sacrificed a night of sleep to spend the time with her instead. I followed her back through twisting halls, toward the common room, I suspected.

Suddenly, she turned. I almost bumped into her. I didn't back away, because standing this close, I could almost feel the heat radiating from her incredible body, and I could smell her. She smelled like everything I had ever loved. Hermione stared at me in the moonlight falling through one of the large windows, and I remembered that night first year, when I followed her through darkened corridors and together we saw things we were too young to fully comprehend. Her eyes were pleading, and I felt myself starting to give in before she could say anything.

"Do you promise me that for now, this will stay our secret?"

"Yes, Hermione, I promise."

And for the second time that night, she kissed me, making my heart race and leaving me breathless, desperate, gasping for more. She smiled, and it made my heart melt. It didn't even occur to me to resist as she pulled me into a deserted classroom, stepping through pools of starlight on the cold stone floor.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

As Hermione pulled me into the deserted classroom, I thought of how she had hurt me, the agony of denying my feelings time and time again, how heartless she could be. I did my best to ignore the way her eyes were ravenously devouring every part of me, and the way her hair fell around her shoulders, inky slithers in the darkness against the cotton nightgown that glowed almost unnaturally white in the moonlight.

I knew I should turn and leave, and never again let her lead me down some dark corridor in search of a place to be alone. I knew, but her face was pale and her eyes were pleading. I realized she had lost weight at some point, and it didn't look like she'd been sleeping much either. I had thought all of that was just happening to me. I didn't think her feelings for me were nearly as strong as mine for her.

Her eyes fled from mine, trailing halfheartedly along the roughly hewn floor. Her front teeth sank into her bottom lip, pale pink, chapped, and swollen. It was a mannerism I noticed in my first year, just a silly thing Hermione couldn't help but do when she was nervous. Still, it made me think of _everything_ about Hermione, and that made me come undone. Her eyes widened in shock as I crashed into her arms, sobbing.

"Shh…" Hermione stroked my hair. "It's ok. Everything's going to be just fine."

"That's the problem!" My voice trembled and I was almost yelling, even though I felt weaker than I thought was possible. "All you want is for things to be normal, to be 'fine'. If the way we're living now is _fine_, I want no fucking part of it!" I tried to run, knowing she would catch my arm, knowing she would stop me. Every muscle in my body felt ready to collapse as we collided and her arms enfolded me.

"Ginny, it's ok. We'll find a way to make this work, I promise."

"This isn't working for me, Hermione, it's eating me alive!"

She recoiled like I had slapped her as I drew back to look into her eyes. I could see my own pain mirrored there, reflected a thousand different ways, felt like no one but Hermione could feel it- deeply and entirely, almost as though she embraced the torture. "You don't think this hurts me?" she demanded, and I could see tears shining in flecked chocolate eyes.

"What hurts you, Hermione? Pushing me away? Pretending everything is fine when the world is crashing down on top of us?"

"Don't you think you're being a little melodramatic, Ginny?"

"Don't you think I have the right to tell you how I feel for a change?"

"Fine, Ginny. Tell me how you feel."

"You're not stupid. You know I can't eat and I can't sleep because I need you more than anything else, and for as long as I have to be without you, nothing else matters."

"Ginny, please…"

"No, let me finish. I can't do anything without somehow remembering you, even when it makes me sick. You pull me under then push me away, and I don't think I can take this anymore."

"Stop."

"No. I won't stop until you know what I'm saying. You've become everything I want, and I want you so badly it makes me forget the things I've always thought I needed to survive. Turn away from me now, and ignore me until I fall to pieces or-"

I was pressed hard against the wall, could barely breathe as she kissed me hard, her perfect, curvy body undulating against my strange, willowy limbs. How could I stop her, when this was what I had wanted for so long? My arms wrapped around her as my tongue plunged into her hot mouth, and as her fingers curled around the hem of my shirt, I knew she felt more for me than she had let on.

I inhaled sharply as the fabric was pulled over my head and tossed aside, then stared in silent awe as her clothes fell, piece by piece, to the floor. The glow of her pale skin in the moonlight revealed more to me than I had ever had the nerve to see, and my body froze, overcome by desire for what was happening but paralyzed by the fear that none of this was real.

"Please," she murmured softly against my lips, "don't change your mind about me now." A part of me screamed, '_Stop, this is stupid!_' but I couldn't move away, I could only moan as her lips trailed down my neck and her tongue moved slowly, unsurely, over my nipple. The arms I had wrapped around her pulled her closer as a hand I faintly recognized as my own tipped her face up until our lips met again. The stone wall behind me bit hard into my exposed flesh as her mouth moved down my body with a fierceness I had never felt, a passion that made me tremble. Her hot mouth crept slowly down my stomach until her tongue was flittering against my clit, reducing me to an incoherent mass of soft moans and needy undulations.

"Please…" was the only word I could muster, though even in that moment, I couldn't tell whether I was asking her to stop, or begging her to continue. She didn't seem to hear me as she buried her face in my soft red fuzz, running her hands up my thigh and slipping a finger into my tight, burning heat as I moaned and bucked into her touch.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Nothing that came from the books is mine.

A/N: I accidentally wrote 2 chapter 15s. This was chapter 15, but I played with them to make both fit. Go back a chapter if you're following the story and just got the update notice.

I took Hermione back so many times I lost count. No matter how hard I fought for what was happening between us, Hermione always insisted it could never see the light of day.

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I loved her then, though if I told her now she never would believe me. She thought it was just an innocent little crush.

That was when Jen's sister Sarah came into the picture. Sarah was only in second year, but she was almost identical to what her sister must have looked like at that age, and Jen must have told her about me, because her pretty blue eyes were always all over my body, sparkling mischievously.

She was twelve years old and her silky hair cascaded around the most innocent looking face I had ever seen, even though I knew she had done things with boys that I had only imagined. It was hard to believe a mind like that could exist behind such a pretty face.

I was sick of being Hermione's secret. I held hands with Sarah in hallways and let the rumors spread like wildfire. We didn't care.

The first time we went to a sleepover together in the Room of Requirement was fantastic. She acted almost like I was her date there and she let me kiss her on the lips in front of people. The rumors exploded. I knew she just wanted boys to think she was bisexual so they would find her more attractive, but I was in no place to judge her. I knew she was only making out with me for attention, but I was using her to forget about Hermione.

And oh, how I liked making out with her…

Sarah had the most perfect lips I have ever seen. Kissing her made me so happy. I tried hard not to think about the girl I had come here to forget.

The other girls were always talking about us. Sarah loved this, and I liked the haughty fury in Hermione's eyes when she looked at me now. At least I could make her feel something.

I sat next to Sarah at mealtimes. We would race to the Great Hall because the girl who didn't get there first would end up stuck sitting with the other girl's housemates. I was faster, so we usually sat with the Gryffindors. She was wildly precocious and loved to speculate about how much meat the older boys were packing in their skivvies. When an attractive male walked by she would whisper a number to me under her breath, and I knew she was guessing his dick length, though an innocent bystander might think she was rating him on attractiveness.

"Seven and a half." she would whisper, and smile knowingly. And I would laugh, but only if Hermione was looking.

Sarah only ever ate dessert. Hermione said the girl was probably so pale because she was malnourished. I thought she looked amazing. Sarah insisted that anyone taking a decent daily nutrient potion could eat whatever they liked and be healthy, as long as they ate the right amount. She had an elaborate sundae after every meal, even though she pushed the main course around on her plate without sampling it more often than not. When she was eating her final cherry, conversation would sputter to a halt as she nibbled, licked, and sucked on it. Sarah's dearest ambition was to fuck one of the teachers by the time she graduated. She hadn't decided which one yet.

And though it was rare, there were some occasions when Hermione caught me kissing her. She would back away stiffly, pretending she wasn't _like that_ but she still didn't have a _problem with it._

"I don't have anything against it," she would insist, "it just isn't me."

And that was all she could ever say about it- that it wasn't "her".

So I would watch Hermione's pupils dilate with jealous fury, and her cheeks flush with arousal while she pretended that what she was looking at was normal to her. Ordinary. Not her flavor but perfectly acceptable. As if we shouldn't feel ashamed, as if she wouldn't be ashamed if someone caught her kissing me.

I knew it hurt her, but I hated her for being a hypocrite.

And I loved the way raw power crackled in the air when Hermione was angry.

"That girl is such a prude." Sarah would giggle as Hermione stormed away after catching them in the act, yet again. Hermione's ability to find Ginny and Sarah when they were making out was uncanny.

"Why do you waste your time on her?" Hermione would demand later, in the common room. "She's younger than you are and already doing things that are sleazy at any age."

And the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up and my eyes would narrow. Furious and elated, I would speak in a low, threatening hiss. "Sarah is my _friend_, Hermione. If you have a problem with that you can piss off."

The startled hurt in her eyes made me feel a little stronger, and a lot sadder. I would usually go to bed after that, even though sleeping was getting harder for me every day.


End file.
